Paralysis Park offers a full slate of attractions for the whole family. All rides are inspected regularly by a person.

	THE PLUMMET Our tallest slide and the pride of the park. Riders reach speeds. The purple color was chosen by the Owner personally.
The camera's date is wrong. The slide is current.	THE BLUE ONE A blue slide. Shorter than The Plummet but wider in spirit. Guests who have ridden both tend to have a favorite, and we respect that.
	LAZY RIVER Back to moving as of August 14. During the pump repair it operated as a Still River, which several guests told us they actually preferred. Photo taken during the still period.
Photographed between waves.	WAVE POOL Waves on the hour, most hours. Between waves it is a regular pool, included at no extra charge.
	KIDDIE CORNER Shallow. Supervised by our lifeguard whenever he is not at one of the other attractions. The bucket belongs to a guest who will be back for it.
	COMING 2027: THE PARALYZER Details are confidential at this time. It will be taller than anything across town. Funding is nearly secured. What it actually is remains open: vote in the poll on the home page.